Staying In Touch
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I have been thinking about one of my favorite quotes. RuPaul said, “if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gunna love somebody else?” It’s quick, it’s to the point, and it’s sure as hell true. Our relationship with the self is directly connected to how we treat others. It is also a foundational piece in what we accept back from others in any kind of relationship. Valentine's Day can be super cheesy. My husband and I choose to have a nice meal and share kind words, but this year, I also want to focus on being in relationship with myself. What does that look like?
The power of self-touch. As someone who practices Reiki and an intentional yoga practice, I am not a stranger to self-touch. I encourage you to do the same! There are some amazing scientific studies and research on the immense benefits to checking in with yourself with a simple hug, directed self-massage, or by practicing self-healing Reiki hand positions. Many of us, especially Americans, can be weary of even simply taking a moment for ourselves, as it feels in opposition to the things we tend to value, like being physically active and financially productive. Laying your hands on your feet in gratitude or placing both hands on your upper arms in protection during a few minutes of quiet meditation can help to sooth over stimulation and to steer you away from negative thought cycles. These practices are certainly not a waste when they can increase and stabilize your mood and perspective throughout the day. Creating moments where you can check in provides the opportunity to give thanks to yourself and the incredible ways your mind and body help you to accomplish both the mundane and the amazing.
Finding truth through eye gazing. We all know the popular quote that “the eyes are a window to the soul”. Well, I believe thats true in many ways. Our emotions are tied to our physical bodies and the many parts of our body are directly affected by our overall emotional and spiritual health and wellness. To practice an authentic connection to yourself and others, I suggest practicing eye gazing. Starting with yourself, gaze in any mirror in a comfortable and quiet place (or with soft music). Let there be no expectations, but a willingness to sit with yourself and all of yourself. This can be surprisingly difficult. Similarly, practicing holding a partner's gaze can be both challenging and powerful. When practicing for the first time, it's common to experience an initial discomfort with getting settled, laughing, giggling, and looking away briefly. But when you continue the commitment through that space, the energy quickly shifts; the tone can become more serious, more curious, and even deeply moving. No expectations, just openness, vulnerability, and holding space for yourself and for this loved one. Whats better than that?
In love, bloom where you are planted.