Roles We Play
We all operate in the world under a certain set of roles. These roles are identifiers that we come to rely on when interacting with individuals, groups, settings, or our environment. My main roles are mom, wife, friend, daughter, teacher, and coach. These roles come with societal expectations that play out in behaviors or actions that are deemed appropriate for each situation. Depending on what stage of life you're in, the domination of one role could take over another. Your list of roles can shuffle order at any time.
For me, I have a lot of difficulty coming to terms with this shuffle. I frequently feel an immense personal and sometimes societal pressure to have all roles dominate and perfectly thrive at the same time. It's exhausting to say the least. I have had many moments in my life where I have taken stock of my roles, but only when my life feels out of balance. I've endured long periods of unhappiness due to putting too much time and energy into work, a conflict, or a single relationship that wasn't serving me. When we wait this long, we fall into the potential danger of becoming paralyzed, or even worse, being a victim in our own dramatic one person performance.
I do believe it's ok to be passionate about many things and it’s natural to want to put forth effort and focus onto all aspects of your life. Universe knows, especially when one role dominates (Dad, caretaker, provider, daughter…), it's absolutely vital that you hold strong strings connecting you to the other aspects of yourself (Artist, explorer, hunter, singer…). But, I ask myself, and I ask you, to mediate on coming to terms with placing a role to the side or to finding time to bring a role that has been neglected back into balance.
Validate the beautifully complex person that you are. You CAN be all of these things and NONE of them in the same breath.
I can be a caring friend and also say something hurtful that is not compassionate or kind. This does not make me a bad friend. Why did I say that? Where was that coming from? How can I move forward?
You have already developed a framework of understanding the different "hats" you wear. Take a few minutes to let go of expectations or pressures.
The kids are crying, but safe, and I just spilled water all over the floor. You might decide to take care of one of these issues over the other, but whichever you choose, say the manta "I don't have to do anything right now". The feeling to rush and do it all at once, IS NOT REAL. Take a breath, make the best decision for yourself slowly, and know that it will be ok- THIS IS YOGA.
Live with intention by taking stock of which role is dominating right now. Imagine that in this very moment you don't have to be in that specific role, you just have to tap into your original inner voice. Listen to this true voice first before acting.
I frequently hear “you should do this”, “you should do that” as a mini voice inside my head. Instead, maybe I get up and dance. Maybe I crack a smile. Maybe I blast the music loud. Shake yourself out of your standard track and begin again.
In love, bloom where you are planted.